Unraveling Your Money Scripts
Understanding the hidden beliefs guiding your financial decisions
We all have unique beliefs about money that influence our financial decisions, often without us even realizing it. These deeply ingrained patterns, called money scripts, can be helpful or harmful, depending on whether they lead to constructive or destructive financial behavior. Let’s explore what money scripts are, how they develop, and how you can identify and reframe them for a healthier relationship with money.
WTF Are Money Scripts???
Money scripts are subconscious beliefs about money that we develop throughout our lives. They are formed through our experiences, cultural background, family upbringing, and the messages we receive from society. Money scripts can influence our financial habits, attitudes, and decisions, both positively and negatively. Some common money scripts include things like:
Money is the root of all evil
You have to work hard and sacrifice a lot to make money
Money can't buy happiness
Wealthy people are only wealthy because they’ve done something terrible to get there
People like us don’t spend money on things like that
People are born into wealth so there is no point trying to build my own
How Money Scripts Develop
Did some of those bullet points sound like things your parents said to you (or implied by their attitudes and behaviors) while growing up? Money scripts begin to take shape during our childhood as we observe and absorb the financial behaviors and attitudes of our parents, caregivers, and other influential figures in our lives. As we grow older, these beliefs become more deeply ingrained and can influence our financial decisions without us even being aware of them. For example, if you grew up in a household where money was always scarce, you may have developed a money script that encourages you to be overly frugal or even avoid spending money altogether. Or if you grew up in a house like mine where overspending was the norm, you may have developed the money script that being accepted by others requires owning specific things and that acceptance is far more important than financial security.
How to Start Identifying Your Own Money Scripts
To uncover your money scripts, start by reflecting on your own financial behaviors and attitudes. Consider the following questions:
What are your earliest memories of money? Are they positive or negative?
What messages about money did you receive from your family, friends, and society while growing up?
What messages about wealth did you receive while growing up?
How do these messages align with your current financial habits and beliefs? Can you pinpoint a financial decision you made recently that might have been impacted by these hidden beliefs?
As you explore your answers, you'll likely start to notice patterns and beliefs that have shaped your financial life and how your relationship to money, and even your relationships to others, have developed over time.
How to Start Reframing These Beliefs to Improve Your Financial Life
Once you've identified your money scripts, you can begin to reframe them into healthier more helpful beliefs that align with your financial goals and values. This process can be difficult because it involves challenging your old beliefs and replacing them with new, empowering ones. For example, let’s reframe some of the money scripts from above:
Money Script: Money is the root of all evil
Challenge & Reframe: Money is a tool just as a hammer is a tool. And like a hammer, money can be used to destroy things or it can be used to build something wonderful.
Money Script: You have to work hard and sacrifice a lot to make money
Challenge & Reframe: Yes, some people do have this experience, but there are also many people who have thriving, abundant lives doing things they love.Money Script: Money can't buy happiness
Challenge & Reframe: While money can’t buy happiness, money does give me access to things that can bring more peace of mind and security which, in turn, allows room for happiness in my life.Money Script: Wealthy people are only wealthy because they’ve done something terrible to get there
Challenge & Reframe: While it is true that there are people who have ill-gotten wealth, there are also many people who not only have not harmed others to build their wealth but they also use it as a tool for good.Money Script: People like us don’t spend money on things like that
Challenge & Reframe: So long as my basic needs are met, there is no morality to what I choose to spend my money on.Money Script: People are born into wealth so there is no point trying to build my own
Challenge & Reframe: Yes, some people are born into wealth. But many people build their own wealth from nothing. A simple google search shows that and, if I look, there are probably even people I know who have built more wealth than their parents ever had.
Understanding and transforming your money scripts is a powerful way to take control of your financial life and create lasting change. By identifying and reframing these hidden beliefs, you can break free from limiting patterns and move toward a healthier, more abundant relationship with money. This week, take a look at some of these questions and then review your spending habits for the week. I bet you’ll find a place or two where some old, hard-wired beliefs are impacting your financial habits in less than helpful ways. What would your life look like if you turned some of those on their head?
